Most of us are able to offer guidance and support to friends, but aren’t so good at following our own advice. “Never be embarrassed about who you are,” I say to people. But I routinely don’t speak up about things that are important to me for fear of judgement. I hold back in my writing because I worry that people will think it’s silly, or self indulgent, or just plain boring. The irony being that my most shared posts are those where I speak from the heart.
I suppose I still suffer from the desire to be one of the cool kids. I want to write passionately about music or films. I want to tackle important political or social issues. I want to make people laugh. But leaving aside the issue of whether it’s even possible to do all three, this isn’t who I am. I may care about “issues” but I don’t feel inspired to write about them.
I’m a bit embarrassed about my interest in self improvement. I haven’t even told my friends that I’m going to Alive in Berlin even though some of my favourite bloggers are speaking and I’m really really excited. I love reading about how people have improved their lives through creativity, movement, new habits and minimalism, and I’m interested in changing mine. So maybe this is a bit self-helpy, and a bit uncool. But I’m committed to living my truth, and I’m trying hard not to be embarrassed about using phrases like “living my truth.” (Because I am British after all, and the last things we want to be talking about is our feelings).
It’s time to stop worrying about what people think of me. It’s time to:
- Say ‘yeah, I’m committed to creativity, friendship and living out my values.’
- Look after myself even if that means turning down a night out to go to bed early and make a yoga class the following morning.
- Listen to the music I want to listen to,and maybe even make some of those Spotify playlists public.
- Write the word “awesome” in a professional email.
- Put a kiss at the end of a text to someone I’ve just met.
- Eat what I feel my body needs (even if it means putting on weight).
- Open up to more of my friends, and not hide my excitement about things.
- Write more about my ideas and my life without worrying that it’s self indulgent. After all, nobody is making you read this.